Dreaming of Siberia

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Ever since I read Dostoevsky’s Crime and Punishment, I have been dreaming of a place that for most people is mainly associated with extreme weather, heavy snows and prison camps. Siberia. A place in Russia situated between the Ural Mountains and the Pacific Ocean. A land of endless snow and ultimate coldness. A scary place. At the end of the novel, the protagonist, Raskolnikov, confesses his crime and is sent to a Siberian prison for punishment. Sonia, his girlfriend, follows him because she had promised to follow him up to the end of the world.

Siberia has got a special significance for me. I often dream of it at night and secretly long for it during the day. It means so much more than all the things that make people dread it. It is the land of endless snows and heavy frosts, but also a land of redemption, the symbol of a fresh start, of a new life and a new beginning. Although associated with prisons and exile, it is, in a way, a symbol of freedom. Spiritual freedom. The freedom Christ has promised us. “The truth will set you free”.

It is the centre of the labyrinth, where we suddenly realize the monster we’ve been chasing is within ourselves, but also a chance to defeat that monster, to prove we are stronger than it.

It is about reaching a higher spiritual level, free from the chains of guilt and remorse, from a tormented conscience and a torn heart. The point when we become a new being, as pure as Siberian snow. The wind might roar, the frost might bite, but nothing compares to the liberating feeling in our hearts, the revelation of divine love within us.

In the middle of his punishment, Raskolnikov found the three most precious things in life: peace of mind, true love and a reason to go on. The endless white has turned into a symbol of the infinite, reminding us that, although we are limited as human beings, we can overcome our limits and follow that deep longing inside telling us to go further and deeper.

Siberia is the symbol of suffering, but not a destructive suffering. One that builds us and takes us to new spiritual levels. It reminds us that God has astounding way of reaching to us, and suffering is one of them.

When I was studying the methods of teaching in college, I came across the idea that the key to improving and learning is setting your goals a little higher than you can reach. Pushing further, trying to exceed your limits is the best way to find out who you are and what you’re capable of.

To someone used to the modern western philosophy, this might sound weird. We have been taught to seek the easy way out. But the shortest route is not always the best. We talk about exotic islands, palm trees and people lying on the beach. Yet, each one of us carries a Siberia inside.

LET'S WELCOME JESUS

And the light came into the darkness... and the Word came into the world to break the silence of death...

He came and lived among us, full of grace and truth. His words healed hearts and minds, his call arose people from the death, his touch brought light to the blind.

His message was simple and full of power. His words strong and compassionate. His presence life-changing. His love for us had no limits.

He didn't come to judge or to punish, but to save and to heal. To help us find a meaning in a meaningless world. To comfort us and give us a hope in a hopeless world. He came to the orphans of this world, to make them sons and daughters of God and heirs of eternity.

He came as a humble baby, sharing all our pain and suffering in a body like ours, bearing all the burdens of our frail human frame. When the whole earth and sky was his, he chose to live and die for us out of a love that defies our understanding.

Let's welcome the baby born in Bethlehem. Let's welcome Jesus, Son of God and Son of Man, born into our world at the crossway of history to change it forever.

AMEN

The Job God Gave Me

One night I woke up and cried. Tears came uninvited and they wouldn’t stop. Ever since, I have been crying inside. For all the combinations of words no one has ever written. For all the books no one has ever read. For all the people no one has ever loved. There are so many things to cry for in a lifetime. For every little part of me that has been wasted along the years. For every lost soul. For every shattered dream. For every little thing that has been left outside in the cold. For every car that has passed by my window without stopping for me. For every night that has gone by without revealing its mystery. For all the secrets unknown and unshared.

I could cry for almost anything. Both sadness and joy can bring tears into my eyes. Hatred and love. The beginning and the end of life. Alpha and Omega. And all that’s in between. The easiest thing in the world is to find something to cry for. Once you have come to a certain stage, it’s all a matter of looking around – or looking inside. Tears can be a light in the dark, a candle for our path. Tears make us human. For it is through tears that our humanity is shown. We haven’t chosen to be human and most surely we cannot change it. But we can cry for it. We can cry for our frail humanity. For our lost paradise. For the sheep that have gone astray. We can cry in the dark, when no one can see us, except God. If he loves us, he will cry with us. What a huge comfort that would be!

I remember crying my eyes out so many times. For simple things. For things that would normally pass unnoticed. But there was something inside that hurt and burned. An inner urge. A voice telling me: “Cry, my child. I have chosen you to cry for all the world. It is a privilege. This world is soiled. It needs as many tears as it can get to wash the dirt away. Pure, honest tears coming from a pure, honest heart.” I listened to that urge and cried. Night after night. Day after day. It became my job. Crying for things. Crying for beings. Crying for everything and for nothing. Redeeming all through my tears, because a thing someone has cried for can no longer be a worthless thing.